How to Stop Feeling Lost and Start Designing the Life You Actually Want

 

Hey, you. 

Yeah, you—the one staring at your phone or laptop, wondering how life got so... meh. First of all, let me just say this: you are not alone. We’ve all been there. Feeling lost is like accidentally wandering into a maze with no map, no snacks, and zero clue how you got there in the first place. But guess what? You don’t have to stay stuck. You can find your way out—and not just settle for any old path but design a life that actually makes you excited to wake up in the morning (and not just because there’s coffee waiting).So, get comfy, and let’s chat. I’m here to help you figure this out, one step at a time.

Oh and If you are more of a listener than a reader, feel free to listen to the conversation version of this post! 

Contents

• Step 1: Admit You’re Feeling Lost (It's Okay, Seriously)
• Step 2: Get Curious About What’s Missing
• Step 3: Brainstorm Your “Dream Life” (No, It’s Not Too Late)
• Step 4: Take Tiny, Doable Steps
• Step 5: Ditch Perfection and Embrace the Mess
• Step 6: Surround Yourself with Support
• Step 7: Trust the Process
• Final Thoughts

Step 1: Admit You’re Feeling Lost (It's Okay, Seriously)

First things first, let’s get rid of the shame spiral. Feeling lost doesn’t mean you’ve failed at life. It just means you’re human. Think of it like your GPS saying, “Recalculating.” It’s not broken; it’s just trying to figure out the best way forward.Here’s the truth: everyone feels lost at some point. Your Instagram feed might be full of people “living their best lives,” but behind the curated brunch pics and vacation reels, they’ve had their own “What am I even doing with my life?” moments. It’s normal. So, deep breath. You’re not broken—just in a transition phase.

Step 2: Get Curious About What’s Missing

Alright, now let’s play detective. If your life feels like a puzzle with some missing pieces, ask yourself: What’s not clicking?

• Is it your job?
• Your relationships?
• Your routine that feels like Groundhog Day?

Sometimes, the feeling of being lost comes from ignoring that little voice inside you that’s whispering (or let’s be honest, screaming), “This isn’t it.” Maybe you’ve been too busy or scared to confront it, and that’s okay. But now’s the time to listen.Here’s a fun exercise: Imagine your life as a movie. (You’re the star, obviously.) What kind of plot are you living right now? Comedy? Drama? A really boring documentary? Now, think about what kind of movie you want it to be. Adventure? Romance? A feel-good underdog story? This isn’t about being unrealistic—it’s about getting clear on the vibe you want your life to have.

Step 3: Brainstorm Your “Dream Life” (No, It’s Not Too Late)

Okay, this is the fun part. Grab a notebook, open a notes app, or scribble on the back of an old receipt—whatever works. Write down your answers to these questions:

1. What would your ideal day look like? (From morning to night—don’t skip the details!)
2. What kind of work would make you excited to show up every day?
3. Who do you want to spend more time with? (And, let’s be honest, who do you need to spend less time with?)
4. What hobbies or passions have you been putting on the back burner?

Now, don’t roll your eyes if this feels cheesy. The goal here isn’t to manifest some perfect fairy tale life—it’s to figure out what matters to you.For example: Maybe your dream life doesn’t include quitting your job and moving to Bali (but hey, if it does, go for it). Maybe it’s as simple as working fewer hours, spending more time with your family, or finally starting that side hustle you’ve been talking about for years.

Step 4: Take Tiny, Doable Steps

Let me guess—you’re feeling a little overwhelmed right now, huh? Like, “Cool, I want to change my life, but where the heck do I even start?” Don’t worry, friend. The secret sauce is tiny, consistent steps.Here’s the deal: You don’t have to figure it all out today. You don’t have to quit your job, run a marathon, or become a Zen master by next week. Start small.

• Want to switch careers? Spend 15 minutes a day researching jobs that excite you.
• Want to feel healthier? Add one new veggie to your meals this week.
• Want to meet new people? Join a group or class that aligns with your interests.

Small changes may not feel like much at first, but they add up. Think of it like planting seeds. You won’t see the flowers bloom overnight, but trust me—they’re growing.

Step 5: Ditch Perfection and Embrace the Mess

Here’s a hard truth: Life is messy. Even when you start making changes, it’s not going to look perfect. You might stumble, take a wrong turn, or second-guess yourself. That’s fine. Progress isn’t a straight line—it’s more like a squiggly doodle.The key is to keep going anyway. Celebrate your wins, no matter how small. (You made it to the gym once this week? High five! You updated your resume? Heck yes!) And when things get tough, remind yourself why you started.

Step 6: Surround Yourself with Support

Feeling lost is way harder when you try to navigate it alone. You need people in your corner—friends, family, mentors, a therapist, or even an online community. Find your cheerleaders, the people who lift you up and remind you that you’re capable of amazing things.And hey, don’t be afraid to let go of toxic vibes, too. If someone in your life is constantly dragging you down, it’s okay to set boundaries. You’re designing your life, not theirs.

Step 7: Trust the Process

Here’s the thing about designing the life you want: It’s not a one-and-done deal. It’s a journey. You’ll tweak, pivot, and maybe even start over a few times—and that’s okay. Growth is a lifelong process, not a destination.So, give yourself grace. Celebrate the little wins. And keep showing up for yourself, even on the days when it feels hard. Because you deserve a life that lights you up.

Final Thoughts

Listen, I know this whole “designing your dream life” thing can feel daunting. But remember, you’re not starting from scratch—you’re starting from experience.Everything you’ve been through, even the tough stuff, has shaped you into the person you are today. And that person? Totally capable of creating a life they love.So, let’s make a deal. No more “I’m stuck” talk. You’re not stuck—you’re recalibrating. And with every little step you take, you’re getting closer to the life you actually want.Now go out there and crush it. You’ve got this.P.S. If you need someone cheering you on, I’m here. Let me know how it’s going—I’d love to hear about your wins, big or small.